Conquering The Wall of Awful
- Samantha Pugh
- Oct 10, 2024
- 5 min read
If you don't already know what the concept best described as "The Wall of Awful" is, you're not alone. I have recently been introduced to this phenomenon after talking with my therapist about simple tasks that I have successfully procrastinated for such a long period that the task evolved into something comparable to a sleep paralysis demon. I couldn't even fathom completing the simple task since I thought about it for much too long and now it feels like I have the same probability of becoming president as I do finishing said task.
The task could include paying a parking ticket, cleaning out your closet, or even building a simple shower stool that has sat in its box for the past two years. I understand the last task is niche (and I swear I'll build it tomorrow), but if you can relate in the smallest sense I'd highly recommend watching a YouTube video, specifically by How to ADHD, on what this phenomenon is and how to face it head-on. I have linked said video(s) at the bottom of this article if you'd like to take a deep dive.
How to ADHD explains The Wall of Awful as a metaphorical emotional wall we build when we feel we've failed, and in turn, we've disappointed not only ourselves but also others. Bonus points for feeling as if we've been rejected due to our failure or feeling thereof. This wall can also be created by self-doubt, impulsivity, forgetfulness, procrastination, and a whole slew of yucky, negative feelings. We often build many walls for many different reasons due to different situations.
Being aware of the wall and why you're building it is a great first step towards demolition. "How to ADHD" explains five ways of getting past The Wall of Awful. Here are the first two.
Staring at the wall and not engaging with it at all (freeze)
Trying to go around the wall (flight)
I hope it's obvious that neither of these two suggestions is helpful. Staring at the wall will just give you more time to create more excuses that will eventually make your Wall of Awful comparable to the Great Wall of China. Trying to go around the wall is literally impossible (trust me, I've tried it). Remember, this wall is a metaphor and is as wide as Father Time himself.
Get really angry and try to smash through the wall (fight)
This idea could theoretically work, but with anger comes destruction, and though you'd be destroying your Wall of Awful, you could also be creating permanent damage to your relationships and/or your self-esteem on the way. For instance, if my boyfriend were kindly reminding me to build the shower stool and I decided to get really frustrated and snap at him, then use that negative energy to bust through my Wall of Awful like the Cool-Ade Man, I would, in fact, have finally built the shower stool, but I would also be projecting that negative energy on him and our relationship. On the other hand, if I were to get really frustrated and talk negatively to myself, i.e. "Why can't I just build this stool" or "What's wrong with me", I would be harming my relationship with myself and my self worth, and that negative projection towards yourself seems like it can be harmless at the time, maybe even motivating, but it creates a whole new angry monster in time.
Climb the wall
Simple, right? Well, no, or you wouldn't have read this far. How to ADHD explains this step as "a whole lot of emotional work that takes place inside of us." Climbing your wall can look a lot like staring at it to the outside spectator. To climb your wall, you have to recognize you've built a wall, and in my opinion, any task you can admit you've procrastinated has its own individual wall that has been built over time. What helps me is recognizing my Wall of Awful as soon as I feel the first ounce of hesitation toward a task. This allows me to diagnose the problem and figure out which of my Wall of Awful tools is best suited for the specific situation.
Put a door in the wall
This concept is geared towards changing our emotional state therefore finding the encouragement and motivation to do a task. This can include blasting a motivational song, setting a timer to complete as much as you can until the timer is up, or my personal favorite, creating a novel experience like finding a trendy coffee shop and trying an abnormally flavored latte to motivate you towards completing computer work you've been putting off. Though the novelty idea is the most fun in my opinion, sometimes we dont have the time or energy to do a task let alone come up with a fun way to motivate ourselves. In that case, setting a timer has helped me find the motivation to start a task without the commitment of having to finish it right then and there. Consequently, I often find myself realizing the task isnt as daunting as I made it out to be in my head, and continuing the task even when the timer is up.
Basically, any healthy way of creating dopamine will enable us to slap a door into the wall and walk right through it. Well, that's the hope anyway.
Putting a door in the wall is a great short-term method in dealing with The Wall of Awful, but unfortunately, the trendy coffee shop will stop being novel and your brain isn't going to respond to the timer in the same way it did when you first started using these climbing tools. We can, however, develop long-term strategies such as time wisdom and the breaking down of a large task into smaller tasks that are less intimidating to complete. It's also incredibly important for us to define what "done" is when discussing a specific task. How to ADHD uses the example of not being able to write an entire book in one day, so what is your version of "done" for that day? Maybe it's writing for an hour, maybe it's writing three chapters, and maybe some days it's writing until the sun goes down. You can't expect the same capacity of performance from yourself day after day, or you're inevitably going to fail and disappoint yourself which then (say it with me) will build a Wall of Awful.
I personally climbed one of my many Walls of Awful by writing about The Wall of Awful. How ironic!
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